


Decision

by ZoeSong



Category: C. B. Strike (TV), Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith, Strike (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Career of Evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 19:27:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16024430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoeSong/pseuds/ZoeSong
Summary: Robin marries Matthew. A year later, she wonders why.





	Decision

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LulaIsAKitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LulaIsAKitten/gifts).



> Many thanks to LulaIsAKitten who gave me an eleventh hour beta and encouraged me to post this. 
> 
> This is sort of my last hurrah before LW comes out; things may go down this way, but we shall see. Feedback is happily received!

~~

Robin was late to work. She’d texted Cormoran a vague “running a bit late,” and made her way to Denmark Street. 

When she came in, Strike was already at his desk, rifling through the documents of a new case they’d started.

She tried to slip by without him noticing, calling a brisk “’Morning,” though she knew that just the fact that she was late would be of notice to him. 

Laying off her things, she headed over to the new coffee machine they’d invested in to save on take-away coffees. She called out, “Coffee?” just as she realized that he’d already made a pot.

“It’s all right; I already got some, thanks.”

Relieved that she didn’t have to go in and face him just yet, she poured her own coffee, then turned to her desk and switched on the computer. She shuffled through some notes that she’d left to type up this morning and tried to decide where to begin. 

But his voice came from across the hall. “Robin, can I get your opinion on this?” 

“With you in a tick.” She took a moment to compose herself, then entered his office, keeping her head down.

He started to hand her some papers, then stopped abruptly, seeing her red eyes. “You all right?”

It was like the tumult from two years ago was repeating itself. There was no point trying to hide it. She sank into the client chair and did her damnedest not to cry. “No. Matthew is having an affair.”

“What? Christ,” he said, grimacing. Then he grew thoughtful. “Wait, you _think_ he is, or you _know_ he is?”

“I _know_ he is. I caught him. And _her_ – _Sa_ rah.” Robin turned up her nose as she pronounced the woman’s name with disgust. “In mid-snog – and his hands were all over her.” 

“Ah, Robin, I’m sorry.” Again, though, his sympathy turned to curiosity. “How did you find out – were you tailing him?”

“No. I didn’t suspect a thing. I believed him when he said it was over with her a long time ago.” She looked up at him for the first time. “He had to work late. And since he’d been so much more understanding recently about _my_ working late, I thought I’d reward him by surprising him with supper.” Robin grimaced. “It was a surprise, all right.”

Strike shook his head in indignation. “What did he have to say for himself?”

“He _yelled_ at me – ‘Robin, what are you doing here?!’” she mimicked his voice. “As if _I_ was the one at fault.”

Strike made a little huffing sound.

“I was so shocked and angry that I couldn’t even speak. I just hurled the bag of curry across the desk at him.” She thrust her arms towards Strike, reenacting her motions. “It burst open all over the papers he was working on.” 

Strike chuckled softly, picturing the mess it must have made.

“So then he yelled at me about that. But the whole time I couldn’t manage to say a single thing – I just stormed out of there, found a taxi, and drove around the city racking up a huge fare before I finally went home.” She sniffed loudly and gave Strike a defiant look. “I put it on Matthew’s credit card.”

Chuckling again, Strike handed Robin the tissue box.

“Thank you.” Robin dabbed at her eyes and nose, with chagrin, painfully aware that this tissue box was regularly offered to women in exactly her situation.

“You could have called me, you know.” His eyes were kind.

“I know…” She smiled weakly, but then shook her head. “But no, I couldn’t – I was too embarrassed. It’s all so humiliating. I know you don’t like him – you must think me so stupid to have married him.” She put her head in her hands.

Strike’s voice grew serious. “Robin, think who you’re talking to. I was with Charlotte off and on for sixteen years. We rowed constantly and she threw me out again and again, and I kept going back to her. Even after I’d decided to break with her, I was tempted to get back together. You’ll get no judgment from me.”

Robin looked up tearfully. “Thanks.” 

He gave her a commiserative look and waited while she dried her eyes. 

“But there’s another reason I didn’t call you.” She hesitated, but plowed on. “When I got home he was there waiting for me, upset that I didn’t answer his calls or texts. And we rowed and he dredged up all the things that have upset him before. And he accused me again of being...” she stopped, choking on the words. 

He finished for her, “…involved with me?”

She grimaced and her eyes brimmed with tears again. “Yeah. Trying to justify what he was doing.” She turned away, seeming ashamed. “I’m sorry. It’s such an insult.”

“More to you than to me. He has no reason not to trust you. And he should know that if I were making moves on you you’d have warned me off.”

Robin nodded, her tears clearing a bit. “I told him that a long time ago. I wouldn’t have stayed if you were like that.” She sighed. “But that wasn’t even the worst thing.” She took a breath. “I asked him how long it’s been going on and he said ‘two months.’”

Strike tried to recollect what might have been happening two months ago and recalled that it was Robin and Matthew’s wedding anniversary. The bastard had great timing.

“Two months ago – right after our anniversary – he said he thought it was time we talked about starting a family. I said I wasn’t ready yet. That you and I were building up the business and I didn’t want to have to step back that much yet.”

“He must have loved hearing that.”

“Yeah, it set him off. He said that a family should be our first priority and that we weren’t getting any younger.”

“You’re not even thirty!”

“I know. But so many of our friends are having kids that he thinks we should too. He said I’d probably never have kids at the rate I was going – accused me of not even wanting them. I _do_ want them, just not yet.”

Strike nodded.

“Well, after a few difficult days, it seemed to pass. I thought he’d come to accept how I felt. But obviously he’d gotten back with Sarah again.”

Strike shifted in his chair. He was hesitant to say what he really wanted to – that Matthew was a lying, cheating bastard who didn’t deserve Robin. He redirected the subject. “So...where are you staying?”

Robin raised her chin. “At the flat. Last night I told him he could sleep on the sofa this time, and if he didn’t like it he could go to Sarah’s since he likes being with her so much. For what it’s worth, he stayed on the sofa.”

Strike made no reply. He suspected that Matthew would try to repair things.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Does he want to stay together? Did he apologize?”

“No, actually, he didn’t. He’s just being completely defensive. Before…” She looked up to imply with her eyes the time before when she’d learned he’d cheated during that awful time. “Before, he begged me to stay, poured out his feelings, and apologized again and again. Proposed all over again. Now he insists that it’s my fault – that if I quit my job we could work things out. He equates my working with you to his having an affair. I told him it’s not the same thing at all.”

“Hardly.”

“He has to know I’m not sleeping with you. As if I would!” She gave Strike an indignant look, then seeing the amusement in his eyes, she stammered, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that, you’re lovely, err, umm...” she broke off, flustered. 

“It’s all right, I get it,” he said reassuringly. He was flattered by her apology, but knew she was just upset.

“I just mean that I couldn’t cheat on someone I promised to be faithful to. What’s the point of getting married otherwise?”

“Right.”

Robin looked directly at Strike. “I should just leave him, shouldn’t I? How can I stay with someone who thinks that way? I think…I think that I’ve changed into someone he didn’t expect me to be. And I don’t want to change back.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have to be someone you’re not.” Strike deliberately avoided answering her question. “So, you’ll have a decision to make, then. Do you want some time off?”

Robin shook her head. “No, not at all. I was up most of the night trying to decide what to do. Right now I want as much work as I can get. Give me all your most tedious things to research or people to call.”

“Right then, no problem there. Fortunately, we had another client call early this morning. You can get started on that.” Strike shuffled the papers on his desk around, found a paper-clipped bundle, and offered them to her. “But if you change your mind, just say so.”

Robin nodded, taking the bundle of papers. She looked back up at him. “I will. And thanks.”

“I just wish there was something I could do to help.”

“You already have.” She looked at him meaningfully. “Being a good friend. Listening.”

“’Course. Anytime.” He smiled warmly.

She started to rise, then sank back onto the chair. “There is something else you could do for me, if you would.”

“Sure, name it. Want me to punch him for you?” His eyes crinkled with wry humor.

Robin gave a weak laugh. “Don’t tempt me.” She looked at him appreciatively. “I wondered if you’d take Tiny Dancer this afternoon. I don’t think I’d be much good at tailing anyone just now, but I’ll do everything else. It’s our only surveillance scheduled for today.”

“No problem.” Tailing the diminutive dance instructor whose husband could not believe that all she did was work at the studio all day was one of their easier assignments. Strike looked at Robin’s tired eyes. “And while I’m gone, you should take a nap. Just lock the door and ignore it if anyone knocks.”

Robin started to protest, saw how seriously he meant it, felt the exhaustion of a sleepless night overwhelming her, and nodded. “I may just do that. Thanks.”

Strike’s eyes followed Robin as she headed to the outer office. He was sorry for the pain she was in, but felt all the more strongly that it was right for her to leave Matthew, though he wouldn’t say so. Of course it had to be her decision. 

From the outer office he heard the shuffling of papers, and then the tapping of keys on the computer keyboard. He turned back to his computer and was soon engrossed in his own investigation.

Strike had worked for perhaps an hour before he realized that it had grown quiet in the outer office. Had Robin taken his advice and lain down for a nap?

He grabbed his mug as a pretence for going out there, and found Robin curled up on the sofa, her head on the armrest. There were papers spread out on the floor below her, as if she’d been sorting them for the case. And on top was a sticky note in bright orange with a name and a number that Strike recognized immediately. It was for a lawyer that they’d often worked with, recommended by Ilsa. 

A divorce lawyer. 

It appeared that Robin had made her decision.

Pulling the decorative afghan from the sofa back, Strike covered Robin gently. The road to her divorce was likely to be a long painful process, but he promised silently that he would be there for her every step of the way. 

~~

_When you're used_  
_Bruised_  
_Black and blue_  
_Don't think about it_  
_Never doubt it_  
  
_I'll walk beside you_  
  
From “I Walk Beside You” by Beth Rowley  


~~

**Author's Note:**

> ~~
> 
> I could not help but think of the theme song from the TV series as I wrote this ending.


End file.
